So this fail has been awhile in the making. Let me start this story from the very beginning.
Once upon a time I painted the old fish tank base Conner’s Lakefront. I bought the paint and painted it all in the same day. It looked beautiful. Brett comes home, pops in the laundry room and say “oh, we are keeping that?” I responded with a “heh?” which is like “huh?” only with some attitude and a strong implication that what you said was likely incorrect and you’d be ill advised to not reconsider your previous remark. Brett then says “Wow, I love the color!”
Pretty much sums up our marriage.
I’m fairly certain we talked about painting the cabinet some shade of blue. And I even looked back through the blog posts so I could prove that we had, but well when I talked about painting it I already had. You know how you always think if you had a record or video of things you could just prove yourself right all day long? Turns out it is better to claim being right and have your husband agree than to really go to all the hassle of actually being right, because as it turns out it can be difficult to prove (or you could actually be wrong- the horror).
But yeah, from that moment on the cabinet has been a series of pickles.
Let’s start with the counter top.
I’ll remind you it was a random remnant- unfinished edges, laminate, green, and a weird back splash part. It also was significantly bigger than the base and unattached.
Step 1: The plan was to cut off the back part. Basically everything to the left of the blue tape in the picture. This time we borrowed Brett’s brother’s circular saw. It’s like getting a babysitter, you’ve got to space out who you ask for stuff all the time. Now maybe it was a perfectly lovely circular saw and we just haven’t done much with that particular tool before, but it sure seemed like a deathtrap. The kind of tool that makes you think about how good your sewing skills are (you know in case you need to make custom 3-4 fingered gloves).
So no one lost a finger which honestly seemed almost shocking with how much it was kicking back, like a shotgun, except it’s not a gun. So no real surprise the cut was on the laissez faire side of straight.
But we decided to march on full steam ahead.
Step 2: Cover the counter-top with the fake marble contact paper. Let me just say it was obnoxious. Getting the air bubbles out was not at all satisfying like stomping on the ones that come when you get things shipped to your house. Nope. It was really tedious and then we would randomly catch the bubble in a weird way and get a tiny rip.
But we powered through. Only then to see that the seam was going to be very obvious and meticulous is not exactly our MO.
We had a moment of feeling like we should probably keep going even though we weren’t going to like the final product. But then I held up our spare roll to the wall and then I noticed it made our walls look kinda dingy.
It’s harder to see here, but in person it was kinda meh. Because the contact paper was so bright wight the slightly warm white of the walls looked dirty.
Step 3: Scrap the top and replace with wood. I was totally inspired by this kitchen countertop . So Brett called one day as I was driving home from work saying he was stopping at Lowes and what were the measurements we needed? I guessed best I could remember. We leave it sitting in the living room for a few days and then eventually we got enough steam to carry it back to the laundry room.
Guess what? It’s a 1/2 inch too short.
So where does this leave us? With the wood back sitting in our living room. Why didn’t we return it? Because now we have come up with maybe the stupidest idea of all. This blog post is turning into a bookend. Remember when Brett was surprised I had painted the cabinet in the first place? Well it’s because it really doesn’t fit the space. It never has, but the room was also orange, so there were other more pressing concerns.
Here is the Birdseye view. See how it is weirdly long and sticks out, halfway covering the little nook where we want to make built ins?
Yeah so now we are going to somehow slice the cabinet to make it smaller… This time hopefully not with the circular saw of death.