Our Backyard Transformation Starts Tomorrow!

I could kind of see getting used to this… I get to dream things up, plan them out, pick things out and then someone else does the work! I will say though I am slightly nervous about not being able to make every tiny decision and we will be at work during the day.

So in order to get ready for the guys to work on the backyard, we had a couple of things we had to take care of first.

  1. Dig holes for the pergola footings
  2. Get rid of the long tube of wires
  3. Clear all the miscellaneous crap out of the backyard

How wrong could things really go?

So for task #1 we decided to rent a 2 man auger which we had experience using back when we did our fort footings. We decided to get Brett’s dad to help out again since unsurprisingly after zero time spent working out in the last year I am equally as strong as last time (not really at all). And besides there is nothing quite as fun as doing something dangerous without the skills or strength to do so with the person you love and would likely blame anything that could potential go wrong on.

But before the digging of the holes there was the marking of the holes. Now I’ll say that I am a terrific eyeball-er and a mediocre measure-er. The tricky part was Brett’s dad was really set on everything being square… not exactly our strong suit. I really wanted to just build a rectangle out of 2x4s and mark the corners for holes, but we didn’t have long enough boards. So instead we had to do math. Which I don’t know about you but nothing makes Brett and I crankier than doing math, except for doing math together.

So we made some attempts at measuring to make sure everything was the same distance from the house, but that was complicated by the transition from the house to the shed. Then we tried measuring off the fence, but that proved tricky too. So after a short break to remember that we loved each other, which turned into a sort of necessary longer break because the remembering was harder than we anticipated… We found a video that explained how to make sure everything was square. So we placed the pegs where we thought they should go and then did the 3-4-5 method from the video to make sure we had right angles.


You can maybe barely see the white string between the wood pegs. But what you can really see is all the wisteria that will look so pretty from this pergola once we actually build it.

We got it marked out Friday night so Brett and his dad could dig the holes the next morning. I love that we pinpoint this perfect spot that is square and then the idea is to dig these massive holes, supposedly with the spot we marked in the center. So they started bright and early on Saturday with the auger, but unluckily for them they found a random chunk of concrete quite a ways down, some rather large rocks and an auger that really wasn’t feeling it.

The upside was we got all our money back for renting the junky auger, but the downside was it meant digging by hand, but I didn’t actually do any of that, so I can’t say that it was really so much different or worse.


Task #2 Get rid of the wires.

Now if you are just catching up with us we once had a non functioning hot tub in our backyard (broken since we bought the house, presumably before because a rotten hot tub cover was composting in the bottom of the tub. It was also weirdly small like a bath with two of your very very close friends. We took it out last summer when we ripped out the splintery rotting deck it was built into). Now this tube of wires was just barely under the grass hanging out until now. We had flipped the breaker to the hot tub sometime ago, so we assumed the wires were dead. But to be safe Brett had capped all the wires poking out of the ground by the fence, away from the house.

Turns out the wires were still live. Whoops. How did Brett figure this out? Well he initially had a safe idea and bought one of those live wire tester things, but it got left in the van (the van that decided to crap out when I was in the left lane of 94 on my way home, the van that is now at the shop. Now in case you have never been married, or maybe you are just a very nice non-blaming spouse you may not understand this, but as I am driving and the van feels like it is sputtering, I call Brett. Do I call and ask “do you know what might be going on on?” No. Of course not. I say “did you put E85 in the van?!” Because I may have no clue what is going on, but I already know who is likely at fault. I’ll give you a clue. It’s not me. In case you are wondering, no he did not screw it up, some spring in the engine that isn’t supposed to break, did.)

Alas, Brett is without a wire tester, so he touches two wires together, they make a bright light and a popping sound. So we flip a few more breakers, do the same very safe test of touching potentially live wires together, this time without issue. Brett then cuts all the wires, is still alive, and caps them once again right at the point they enter the house. We will have to sort that out later, but task #2 is complete and everyone is alive!


Levi desperately wanted to see how deep the holes were, about the size of him it turns out.

And finally task #3: Clear all the miscellaneous crap out of the backyard, which should have been the most simple of all….

So we had Gideon’s third birthday party today and filled up our new inflatable pool from Menards. It just so happens to be much larger than any pool we’ve ever had before. The kids had a blast. Gideon thoroughly enjoyed his “birthday themed” party he requested. This evening I go to dump the pool out, not giving it much thought at all. I deflate one of the three rings and water starts pouring out as it deflates. Except it rushes out with so much gusto it pours right down the wood steps, soon to be taken out, and into our sunroom, which we really intend on keeping. I yell for Brett, who is as my mother taught me to answer the phone as a kid, “indisposed”. So I tell Levi to get his dad and tell him to come outside ASAP, since I am now stuck holding the pool, trying to make sure no more water escapes. Levi casually looks and says he can’t find him. The kid’s a real sleuth.

The moral of the story is we can make any seemingly benign task far more difficult than it ever should be.

And just like that we are all ready for work to begin tomorrow!


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